


What part of 'enough' don't you understand?

by Treon



Category: Star Trek: Voyager, הגדה של פסח | Passover Haggada
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Extras, Gen, Jewish Humor, Pesach | Passover, purim torah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 18:12:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6294604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treon/pseuds/Treon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We were lost in the Delta Quadrant and Captain Janeway led us home with her hands on her hips and a Death Glare (TM)</p>
            </blockquote>





	What part of 'enough' don't you understand?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LaDonnaErrante](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaDonnaErrante/gifts).



We were lost in the Delta Quadrant and Captain Janeway led us home with her hands on her hips and a Death Glare (TM).  And if Captain Janeway wouldn't have brought us home, then we and our children and our children's children would still be wandering around there, for it would have taken us a very, very long time to traverse 70,000 light years.  Therefore we are obligated to tell the story of how we escaped the Delta Quadrant, and it is especially praiseworthy to stay up all night telling tales of how we saved ship and crew.  
  
Rabbi Hoshea says: There is no difference between Janeway and Moses, except that Moses did not enter the promised land.  
  
Janeway led her people through the Delta Quadrant, and Moses led his people through the desert.  
Janeway destroyed the Caretaker's Array, and Moses destroyed God's Tablets.  
Janeway did not know how to delegate, and Moses did not know how to delegate.  
Janeway was willing to sacrifice herself for her crew, and Moses was willing to sacrifice himself for his people.  
Janeway had to provide coffee from a nebula, and Moses had to provide water from a rock.  
Janeway's crew complained, and Moses's flock complained.  
Janeway sometimes wondered why she even bothered, and Moses sometimes wondered why he even bothered.  
But despite everything, Janeway and Moses both managed to bring their people home.  
  
  
If we would have come to the Delta Quadrant,  
but wouldn't have to face a 75 year return trip,                                                    That would have been enough.  
  
If we would have to face a 75 year return trip,  
but wouldn't be stuck with the Maquis,                                                                That would have been enough.  
[Maquis: with Starfleet]  
[Egalitarian: with each other]

If we would be stuck with the Maquis/Starfleet/each other,  
but our entire medical crew wouldn't have been killed,                                         That would have been enough.  
  
If our entire medical crew would have been killed,  
but we wouldn't have a holographic doctor set on being human,                          That would have been enough.

If we would have a holographic doctor set on being human,  
But wouldn't have a loose-cannon for a Chief Engineer,                                        That would have been enough.  
  
If we would have a loose-cannon for a Chief Engineer,               
But wouldn't have to go through Tuvok's drills,                                                     That would have been enough.  
  
If we would have to go through Tuvok's drills,  
But wouldn't have to suffer Tom and Harry's juvenile holodeck adventures,           That would have been enough.  
  
If we would have to suffer Tom and Harry's juvenile holodeck adventures,  
But  wouldn't have to sample Neelix's cooking,                                                      That would have been enough.  
  
If we would have to sample Neelix's cooking,  
But wouldn't have to to risk our lives getting coffee,                                               That would have been enough.  
  
If we would have to risk our lives getting coffee, but...  
    Seriously. What part of 'enough' don't you understand?  
  
  
  
Rabbi Azariah says: Janeway spake of four sons.  The wise son, the wicked son, the simple son and the son who did not know how to ask.  
  
The wise son, that is Tuvok.  For Vulcans think they know everything.  To him she would say: I'm so glad I can consult you, with your great insights and wisdom.

Rabbi Immanuel says: But then she would disregard his advice and do whatever she wanted.  
  
The wicked son, that is Paris.  For he was Starfleet, but saw himself as an outsider, saying "what is this trip you're going on and what will I get out of it?".  'You', and not 'we'.  To him she would say: Wait a few years till I can put you in the brig.  
  
The simple son, that is Chakotay.  For he thought that as First Officer he would get a say in anything.  To him she would say: I'm so lucky to have you.  
  
The son who did not know how to ask, that is Neelix.  For he was not Starfleet and did not know the lingo.  To him she would say: Get with the program.  
  
And Rabbi Immanuel says: The son who did not know how to ask, that is B'Elanna, who has fists and therefore does not need to ask.  To her she would say: We are all in this together, Maquis and Starfleet.  And therefore you must do things the Starfleet way.    
  
Rabbi Eleazar says: Janeway had more than four sons.  The entire crew were her children.   For she treated them as such.

Hillel's disciples and Shamai's disciples.

Hillel's disciples: Rabbi Eleazar was praising Janeway, for she treated her crew as if they were her own children.

Shamai's disciples: Rabbi Eleazar was condemning Janeway, for she treated the crew like children, and not like adults.

 

In commemoration of our sojourn in the Delta Quadrant we eat unleavened bread, to remind us that instant yeast was invented on Earth, and that ship architects should really put some thought into adding more bathrooms.

 


End file.
